14th Sunday: Shame, Shame, Shame!

Shame is a basic human feeling. It isn’t rational. Guilt is different from shame because it has a rational basis. Guilt recognizes something that I have done has revealed something about me that is distorted. Guilt can be the fuel that causes rational change in our life and keeps us in relationship with God and others. Guilt sets boundaries of how human beings relate to each other. Shame leads into denial and fuels disengagement from others. Shame is what prevents children from telling their parents the truth about what the look at on their computer or smart phone.
 
Shame is irrational. Guilt is rational
Shame is more about basic identity. Shame makes us feel bad, unlovable and worthless. If guilt causes me to feel bad because mom and dad depend on me to behave responsibly. I should take my plate to the sink, for instance. Shame makes us feel, “I didn’t take my plate to the sink, I am worthless and hated.” Shame makes us feel that love is at risk. To act responsibly is to respond to the love of our parents and God’s love. Shame is just part of our animal nature. Guilt is a healthy, rational reaction to our failure to respond to love and motivates change. Shame is our feeling of being unloved because we are not worthy.  
 
Shame: Jesus, you do not know your place! Shame on you!
In Jesus’ time, the claim to honor derived from your birth. Was your dad rich or poor? Where is your family in the social scale? Not high enough to be sure!  In the Gospel, Jesus, as a prophet speaks the word of God in the synagogue. People are appalled that he is claiming to speak like he knows something the rest of us don’t already know. So the crowd says, “Is this not the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?” In short, this guy is a handyman and he doesn’t know his place. His family isn’t any great shakes either.  
 
Jesus’ response: A Just Accusation
Jesus takes the offensive. He quotes a proverb to those who wanted to shame him: “A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house” (Mk 6:4). The truth is the truth, no matter who speaks it.  Why shame someone who speaks the truth? Because it is an easy way to avoid responsibility.  Did the people feel any guilt in response to Jesus’ accusation? After all, it was God’s voice accusing them as the many prophets had accused our ancestors in faith in the past.

The Cross and Shame
God’s ultimate response to human shame is the cross. They shamed Jesus on the cross. Crowned with thorns, stripped naked and hung up for everyone to see. But. the cross, also, can be used to shame people. You have heard something like this said, “Every time you don’t take your dirty dish to the sink, you put another nail in Jesus’ hands.” That was one of the misunderstandings of the Reformation, the idea that Catholics believed that every time we celebrate the Mass we re-crucify Our Lord. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was once for all. The cross is the witness of love that requires a responsible response. The cross is a revelation of the love of God for me. Our Lord is not shaming us; he is calling us to use our lives responsibly in response to the love of God the Father.
 
The answer to shame is acceptance
The answer to shame is to love and accept others. When we love and accept others, it heals the shame we experience in our inner lives. Shame relates to the emotional and psychological experience of being cut-off from another’s love. Therefore to respond in love and acceptance works against shame.

Sharing God’s love heals our own wounds. When we shareour story of love and how Jesus calls us out of shame, it encourages others trapped in shame. On the other hand, shame can close our mouth when it comes to the obligation to share our love of God with others. We can be embarrassed of the institution of the Church for a variety of reasons. Or maybe we feel shame because of how we fear the hostility of those who irrationally hate Catholicism. Let us not be shamed into silence. Our parish is offering another opportunity to practice sharing faith this coming Wednesday.
 
Seekers
This Wednesday, our parish will host its final Seeker’s program for the summer. The topic is, “Does God answer or prayers?” The answer of course is yes.  It is as big a challenge to preach to your own people as Jesus preached to his neighbors in Nazareth, people who knew his mom and dad. In our situation, Catholics who have lost their faith or blamed or shamed the church and wandered into other forms of Christianity or nothing at all, are a challenge to evangelize.  To the degree that we blend into the general culture and feel self-conscious, even embarrassed about our faith, is the degree to which we are not responding to the love that God has shown us.  I am afraid that we could be acting out of shame, instead of responsibility. Come to the Seeker’s meeting this Wednesday and bring a friend. Remember the words of Ezekiel in the first reading, “Whether they heed or resist, they will know that a prophet has been among them.” Leave success to God. Our act of love in response to God’s love is to share the love of the one who first loved us.