FRATERNAL CORRECTION

          My dear brothers and sisters our Gospel passage for this week raises a very practical issue; how to act when someone close to us is treating us bad. Obviously these kinds of problem occurred even among the First Christian Community. Today’s Gospel gives us a way of tackling a problem like this. First of all let us take a look at the usual way the injured party goes about solving the problem.
          We begin by keeping it to ourselves. It may be that we are ashamed or simply unable to talk about it to anyone. So we pretend that everything is normal. Meanwhile we brood over the injury. This turns to magnify it. We become angry, bitter and depressed and may cut the offender off as a kind of revenge.
          Eventually, unable to keep it to ourselves, we begin to tell others about it- We tell friends, neighbors, co-workers, relatives,  sometimes total strangers are brought into it. We bring them in, not as advisers, but as people who will agree with our reading of the situation and who will sympathize with us. The last person to hear about the hurt is often the person who is causing it.

GO AND TELL HIM HIS FAULT BETWEEN YOU AND HIM ALONE

          Today’s Gospel shows that there is another approach. We should confront the person who is causing the hurt. “If your brother or sister sins against you go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” We have a duty and a responsibility to tell them. Failure to do so shows a lack of love for the person. Confrontation takes a lot of courage and risk; there is an art in confronting a person. But many times, a little honest talking may clear the air. The person may not be aware of the extent of the hurt he or she may be causing.  We need to ask God for the wisdom, to give us the right words, to open up a person’s heart to receive what we might be concerned about and what we intend to convey .  If we adopt a harsh approach with someone, all we do is cause them to harden their hearts. In that case, not only is nothing achieved, but further harm is done.  Whereas if we adopt a gentler approach, we may soften their heart, help them to see their error and so enable them to change and you have won them over. Confrontation should never be done in anger or annoyance nor should it be done out of our desire to get even. It must be done out of concern for them too, not just out of a desire to appease one’ own wounded pride. Also, before we do it we should examine our own conscience to see if maybe, we are not partly to blame.
          The highest point we can attain in a confrontation is when we get the other person to see what he had done wrong and to condemn it himself. If he repents, forgiveness must be warm and without limits or conditions.
          If he or she refuses to see the light, what then? We should seek advice. We should get one or two people, wise people and enlist their help to face them. If even then we fail, we should speak to community. Community could mean the Church, or family or some group of concerned and responsible people who are interested in the things of God. The whole aim of the exercise is not to score points against ones brother or sister but to help them amend their ways and be reconciled and become true Disciples. When reconciliation happens, it leads to greater growth for both parties. Reconciliation is very hard but for that reason it should not be left untried.
          In our response to the Psalm today, we repeated the words: “O that today you would listen to his voice; Harden not your hearts. God is continually calling us from the error of our ways into a closer relationship with him and with one another. We should never correct out of anger or a desire to punish rather, correcting should be out of love. This is precisely what True Discipleship entails.

BUILDING COMMUNITY      

         Conflict is part of life. So much of building trust in relationship, family, friends, parish or work is how we deal with conflict. It is impossible to build community without trust. We cannot build trust unless we learn to handle conflict. Trust and conflict go hand in hand.  When Jesus instructs his apostles concerning conflict, he says first go to the other and talk to them. But, if they are unresponsive, then take a friend so that there will be two persons.  If the person is still unresponsive go to the church. If the person is still unresponsive treat them as a Gentile or tax collector, that is, with charity. Remember how Jesus relates in love to Gentiles and Tax Collectors.
          Generally, when we think of conflict, it is in our immediate family, place of work or friendships. We have a fundamental duty to be apostles of peace in our community. The most important thing that we can do is to try to build the common bonds of community. We should be involved not only in our parish community, but also in our neighborhoods and larger community.
          Remember Jesus’ words on prayer and community today, “wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the Midst of them” Brothers and Sisters, I want to invite you to consider being involved in our parish community. Today we are having sign ups out front of the parish church for various community activities.

COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES

• Bible Studies: There are bible studies. One is on the New Testament letter of James. The other bible study is on the Books of Samuel in the Old Testament with particular reference to the person of King David.
• Catholic history: There are studies on the history of our faith based on important Catholic figures like G.K. Chesterton, John Henry Cardinal Newman and St. Francis, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Catherine, Michelangelo  This group, lead by me, will look at why these people are important to us and their historical situation.
• Young Adults: We are trying to start some small groups for young adults and are surveying the interest that our 18-35 year old parishioners might have in meeting and discussing issues particular to people starting out in life.
• Spirituality:
  • We have a group for men called That Man is You! It is a group about the spirituality of being a single man, husband, father and son. It is a great opportunity to connect with other men with the same or similar concerns that you have.
  • We have a group that studies Catholic spirituality that is called Wisdom and Works of Mercy. It is open to men and women of all ages.

          We take community for granted I think. We cannot build community without building the bonds of trust. Meeting with new people, listening to different perspectives, considering the call of faith is a strong basis on which to build a healthy community. In a healthy community we can have fruitful conflict that is good for our community. Consider these faith sharing groups as a place to make connections and build community. Be the change that you want to see in our world. “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in their midst.”God Bless you all.