Ok. Good question. What kind of guy reads Jane Austen? Let me tell you. The kind of guy who reads Jane Austen is the kind of guy who likes to think about how people think. Jane Austen is one of the best. As part of everyone’s approach to life and relationship is the theory of mind. Everyone has a theory of mind unless you are autistic or suffer from some other debilitating brain dysfunction. Theory of mind is when you look at the expression on someone else’s face and draw the conclusion that they like you or, perhaps as is common with me, ‘what the heck is that guy talking about?’ Theory of mind is our mental image about the inner workings of someone else’s thoughts, feelings and emotions. Jane Austen novels are based on that mental interaction between other people. Reading a Jane Austen novel is like sitting in the grandstands watching other people think and asking ‘what is wrong with these people?’ Or, just as often, what is right. Why doesn’t he/she just say I love you or get lost. I think every young man and woman should have to read Emma before being allowed to date. Alright, so add Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice to that list.
Emma, published in 1815, is a novel about Emma Woodhouse. According to Austen, Emma is “ handsome, clever and rich” meaning young, headstrong and opinionated. She is the daughter of a hypochondriac and feels, as does dear old dad, that she must care for her father who could never survive without her. Nobody can survive without her. The novel begins with the wedding of her governess, a match for which she believes she is entitled to the credit. Because she believes that she is the one that brought Mr. Weston and Miss Taylor together in wedded bliss, she fancies, at the age of 18, that she is expert in matchmaking. So, she goes about screwing up everybody else’s love lives. The novel is an exploration of marriage, social relationships and courting just before the Victorian age and the nature of love. Long story short, as in any comedy, there is a happy ending, especially for Emma who lands Mr. George Knightley, every inch a gentleman, the gold standard for the day. Emma comes to realize that her misunderstandings of other people’s intentions caused agony to those she truly loved. Her enemies become her friends and her offended friends forgive her. Austen’s sensibilities about masculinity, female empowerment, and marrying within your class are all the bones and sinews of the story. This book has been made into countless rip-off movies. I say, go old school, and read the original.
Women (apparently) love Austen stories. They are about women written from a women’s point of view. Emma says, “I always deserve the best treatment, because I never put up with any other.” Good, although charitable people learn to accept love as others and forgive much. Poor Mr. Knightley, who loves Emma although he is a decade or more her senior, has trouble expressing his feelings. Mr. Knightley is trying to tell Emma that he loves her, but she is busy distracting him because, although she loves him, she is afraid he is in love with her friend Harriet. Mr. Knightley says,
“I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.”
How do you know someone loves you back? They love you for your virtues and in spite of your flaws. In short, they put up with you. Another character, Frank Churchill, speaks sweet words, but his actions are anything but honorable. Emma has opinions, oh yes she does, “A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked, or because he is attached to her, and can write a tolerable letter.” Her advice to her friend is, ““Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives.” Can I have an amen!
When discouraging her friend Harriet from marrying a farmer ( the same man she will be glad to marry by the end of the novel) Emma says, “I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him.” Good advice, generally, but by the end of the novel, Harriet uses her head and emotions and makes a good choice full of promise and marries the very man Emma had caused her to doubt.
Austen’s novels are focused on love, virtue and humility. Emma ends up older, wiser and happier as much because of her follies as in spite of them. That is hopeful for all of us fools. As each of the characters grow in self-knowledge (humility), they also grow in virtue in the reader’s eyes. The lesson Austen’s characters must learn is to love both with your heart and with your head. A pretty face and a gallant form fade over time. Love, virtue and humility are always lovely. A timeless truth about people. Men ought to love Jane Austen as much as their sisters have learned to love her. A theory of mind is a natural gift to each of us, but, we should also learn to have honest conversations with those whom we love. It saves a lot of trouble in the end!
Authors' note: I like to listen to good stories on Audible. Novels are especially good for this form of entertainment. That way, I get to read (listen) to the books I want to enjoy and understand.