“Brothers and sisters: The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because the loaf of bread is one, we, though many, are one body, for we all partake of the one loaf.” 1 Cor. 10
My friend Tom grew up in a broken family. His mom and dad couldn’t get along and divorced. Since his mom worked outside the home, he was a latch key kid. He had plenty of friends, but dinner time for him most often meant that he made his own food and often ate alone. He has a life-long friend, Mick, who was one of his pals growing up. Tom told me that when he visited Mick’s home after school, sometimes his mom would invite him to stay for dinner. Mick’s family is big and loud. They started the meal by saying grace together and then everyone dug in. Eating with Mick’s family is one of Tom’s best childhood memories.
The Importance of Meals For most of human history people have eaten together. It could be men and women eating in groups separately or an extended family that gathered friends, grandparents, unmarried aunts and uncles, parents and children together. Professionals and business people take prospective clients to dinner or meet colleagues for lunch. A meal, whether it is in our family, among our social connections or is business related, is for more than just eating food. Meals have always been a time for making connections
Meals and Diminishing Connections Connections are breaking down in our culture. It is present even in our families. Family meals together have diminished substantially in the last two generations. For me growing up with seven brothers and sisters, we ate together almost every night. Grace, a short homily from my dad on being a good kid and then digging in. The fact that this family experience has visibly declined in the course of a single generation demonstrates how much our social connectedness has been changing. In the 1970s an average family entertained friends at home almost fifteen times a year. By the 1990s, sociologist say that they did so about eight times a year. Going out to dinner has not replaced entertaining at home as that too has declined from the 1970s through the 1990s. Surprisingly, people patronizing bars, nightclubs, and taverns has declined 40 to 50 percent in the same time period. Entertaining friends seems to be diminishing substantially. (Julie Hanlon Rubio. Family Ethics: Practices for Christians (Moral Traditions series) (Kindle Locations 1753-1757). Kindle Edition.)
The Incarnation, Eucharist and Connections We believe that in the Incarnation, God the Son, raised up every element of human life into himself, including meals. Jesus eats on almost every page of the Gospel. He teaches at meals, he forgives at meals, he heals at meals and he gathers large groups for meals. Today is the feast of Corpus Christi, the body and blood of Christ. God present under the appearance of bread and wine. At Mass, we celebrate this marriage of heaven and of earth. Through the Eucharist, the “Bread of Angels,” we are divinized, that is lifted up to God, body and soul. At mass we use colors, candles, flowers, vestments, incense, water, oil, wine and bread, postures and gestures, which support our worship and remind us that the whole universe is being lifted up and transformed into Christ. At Eucharist we receive not only Christ’s spirit, but his body and blood. God walked and taught among us in flesh and blood. He dwells among his people now in the form of bread and wine. In the Eucharist, God claims our humanity as his own.
The Eucharist, Family Meals and Connections God chose a meal to be the visible sign of this great mystery. When Jesus ate among us, he ate with sinners, Pharisees, crowds on a hillside and with his disciples the night before he died. When we celebrate meals with family and friends, this spirituality is also present. This spirituality permeates our meals when we use meals to make connections with others.
Bring snacks to a soccer game and share with other families.
Invite a latchkey kid to stay for dinner.
Invite a neighbor to dinner whose spouse just passed away.
Invite a family member to lunch who feels alienated or alone.
The Eucharist is a time of gathering God’s people, showing hospitality and making connections. That is true both among our families and at the table that God sets for us at mass. Meals together are sacred when they are lifted up in Christ and open to others. Christ is the unseen guest at these kinds of meals. My friend Tom’s experiences as a kid taught him something important that he cherishes as an adult, meals with his family and friends. He has chosen to pass that along to the next generation. Tom, his wife and kids are wonderful hosts. If you are interested in reading more about the presence and practice of Christ in your family, try reading Dr. Julie Hanlon Rubio’s Family Ethics: Practices for Christians. A good read by a fine theologian from St. Louis University. What I liked about the book was its honest appraisal of the challenges facing families with single parents, blended families and traditional marriages. I thought the parts about intimacy and sexuality in marriage, family meals, prayer and social service were practical and useful to parents. So much of family life, whatever the situation, is about providing children memories that will help guide them in their adult lives. Passing on the faith requires more than just knowledge of the Catechism. How we live matters! Fr. John