You have heard it said, “Forgive and forget.” Jesus offers a different truth. “When forgiven, don’t forget and do the same to others.” The servant who was forgiven his debt by the master immediately developed ‘spiritual amnesia’ and dealt harshly with other servants. We are supposed to extend mercy to others. But, forgive and forget; there is truth there. What happens when we dwell on our gripes?

Forgive and forget?

The 1999 Columbine High School murders were among the first school shootings. In the ensuing years, there have been well over 200 shootings involving schools. The angry shooters involved seem similar. They are almost always, young, angry, white males. Eric and Dylan, for example, murdered 12 students and a teacher. They fired almost 200 rounds at unarmed students, a teacher and police. The last two bullets they used to kill themselves. The bodies of those young people were not cold when discussion started about forgiveness. Forgiveness allowed the parents of those murdered children to continue their lives, but I can’t believe they ever forget their kids. What role does forgive and forget play? Perhaps, if we try to understand the causes we could arrive at a rational response.

Columbine: Why these irrational acts of violence?

• Depression had a role in the violence at Columbine and mental health issues, also, played a role in the murder of Judge John Roll and Rep. Gabriel Giffords here in Tucson. Mental health, depression and anxiety, however, are a very small part of gun violence nationally. When the mentally ill use a gun in a violent act, mostly they take their own life.

• Gun laws don’t seem to have a huge role in preventing violence.  Eighty percent of all gun crimes are committed by people who obtained their gun unlawfully.  

• The violent popular culture was present. Dylan and Eric loved the game Doom. Perhaps, violent movies and video games normalized violence for them. They were very angry young men, obviously.

• The breakdown of the family and the lack of commitment among sexual partners plays a huge role in some childhood unhappiness. There are lots of fatherless sons in prison.

There are lots of factors involved in violence.

Something is very wrong and must be set right

Our culture doesn’t make sense. Secularism promised economic growth, jobs, financial security and personal freedom. Mostly, secularism has delivered on its promises. We live in an affluent society although income disparity is growing. But, people have great personal freedoms. They can get abortions, marry almost anyone, vote, and get a public education for free. We have free speech on Twitter and Facebook. Many sexual norms have been discarded, if you choose to remain unmarried. Count up all he freedoms we have and ask, why do so many young people seem consumed with violence in an affluent and free, secular society? They don’t apparently fear hell or a wrathful God.  

The servant in Jesus’ story doesn’t make sense either? He was forgiven, but he immediately turned on the other servants violently. Why? Think about Eric and Dylan and so many perpetrators of violence. They locked themselves into a hatred of the outside world. They couldn’t be part of the larger human community. They had an ugly website making threats and talking about building bombs. If vengeance and retribution are the only law, then hell is the only possibility in life. That disease is in all of us. It starts when we are little kids and we say, I will never talk to them again. We see the full blown disease when we examine these lives that spew hatred and violence.

Forgiveness without change

Peter’s question, “How many times do I have to forgive?” is what gets this discussion going with Jesus. There is an unbridgeable chasm between a forgiving and an unforgiving universe. The problem with a culture that makes materiality, mere stuff, its foundation is that people only think in quantifiable terms.  If we dwell on our hurts in life, if we count them up, that anger will turn on others. Our interior diposition must change.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has been engaged in political affairs most of his life. He was an activist for justice in South Africa during the apartheid regime. He told his people that “If we feel that we have been cheated or victimized, sometimes the impulse is to treat others the same. Today’s oppressed [might] become tomorrow’s oppressors. We sometimes see … people who have had horrendous experiences, so that you never thought they would treat others as they had been treated, and lo and behold, they do.” Rutledge, Fleming. Quoting Tutu in The Crucifixion: Understanding the Death of Jesus Christ (p. 119). Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.. Kindle Edition.

Injustice resides in all of us. Forgiveness isn’t quantifiable. It is an attitude, a way of life. We can’t lock ourselves up in our own hurts. We need to reach out to others. If we don’t, then when we do reach out, it will be explosive.